1. The Yid is the smallest letter in the Alef-Bet but the biggest bone in the throats of our enemies.
2. G-d and the air we breathe have the same attributes: they cannot be seen; only felt.
3. Life would be too dry if not for the tear which moistens it.
4. The ignorant live only for today; the wise telescope tomorrow.
5. Honor the young for they are the builders. Cherish the old who have supplied the material.
6. The mountain looks unreachable when viewed from a valley; and the valley very much beneath you when viewed from the heights.
7. Such lack of respect for our Mother Earth is unpardonable! We step on her... spit on her...
8. Don't build castles in the air until you have found the keys to unlock them.
9. Need is the greatest drive a man can have. If he doesn't need, he needn't accomplish.
10. You have to blow your horn to get places, but once you have arrived it's not nice...
11. The reason for failure is over-confidence.
12. The person who is grateful for what he gets, gets more. The more he wants, the less he gets.
13. Because man was formed from clay, he was created a golem. It is only through effort and discipline that he may become a man.
14. Why do women live longer than men? Adam was created first; therefore, it is only natural that he should go before Eve.
15. Adam and Eve were warned not to eat from The Tree of Knowledge. The Tree of Life was not mentioned because we don't really live; we only exist.
16. The poor man is richer than the rich man because he has a good teacher - poverty. The rich man lives in constant fear of poverty. The poor man has nothing to fear and lives with the hope that some day he, too, may become rich.
17. Nothing reaches as high, burrows so deeply, or travels as far as Time.
18. Time and the earth have the attributes of a crocodile. The earth its huge mouth; time its tremendous digestive ability.
19. The beautician is a marvelous cook! She soups your hair, fries it, and even adds some artificial color.
20. You may trust your beautician 100% and give her your head - which she does not behead - but sometimes even bloodletting is admirable when beets are addressed as "borsht" and cherries as "cherry-soup".
21. The ox has a long tongue but cannot make the shortest speech.
22. A proud and stately pig said to a fox: "See how people honor me? They step aside with respect when I approach." "You are mistaken," said the fox. "They avoid you because of your smell."
23. Parody: The Boom-Boom Broom
Two monkeys sat in a jungle-tree curled in love. "Why doe those bare-faced monkeys shoot fire at us with their bricks and brooms?" "Because they are civilized..." said Mama Chimpanzee. "O, I wish I were like them. They with their little suns can turn night into day!" "Never ape the little gods," said the Wise One. "They are turning day into night with their civilized ways."
24. Don't despise the black people. Ink is black and useful.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment